The Bi+ Experience:
Challenging Invisibility and Breaking The Binary System.
Written by Irene Giovanetti (member of Communia) in collaboration with Chiara Isabelle Berard (member of Orgoglio Bisessuale) and Greta Ottaviani (member of Communia).
In a world often divided into binary categories, the experiences of bi+ individuals challenge and expand our understanding of sexual orientation and identity. The bi+ community, encompassing those who are attracted to more than one gender, navigates a unique landscape where their identities frequently remain invisible and misunderstood. This article explores the bi+ experience, the ongoing struggle against invisibility, and the effort to dismantle binary thinking in sexuality and gender.
A definition
When talking about bi + people, we refer to all the individuals who are attracted to more than one gender, as opposed to monosexual individuals, who are attracted to one gender. The bi+ umbrella includes pansexual people; the label “pansexual” stresses that gender is not an important variable when experiencing romantic and/or sexual attraction (“gender blindness”).
One of the most inclusive definitions of bisexuality is provided by the activist Robyn Ochs:
Challenging the binary thinking
Despite the prefix “bi”, an interesting aspect of the bisexual experience is that it challenges the binary thinking: first of all, bi+ people defy the notion that people can be categorised inside the dichotomy “straight” or “gay”. Secondly, by moving between heterosexual and gay communities, some bi+ people share the experience of continuous reflection on gender stereotypes and assumptions. Bi+ people experience firsthand how society’s binary views on gender impact their intimate relationships, with intimate partners behaving in different ways based on the social expectations on their gender and the way they were socialized.
Invisibility and Misconceptions
One big challenge of the bi+ community is the invisibilisation of their identities. Bi+ people are numerically more than gay and lesbian people, but they don’t easily get recognised from the outside, which reinforces the perception that bisexuality does not exist. People are generally assumed to be straight, and when they are in homosexual relationships they are assumed to be gay. Bisexuality is not a sexual orientation considered to be valid per se; a common experience for bi+ people when coming out as such is being asked if they actually tried having sexual and romantic relationships with more than one gender as if having “experience points” is necessary to prove your sexual orientation.
Common misconceptions about bisexuality include the following:
bi+ people are confused, they are going through a phase and at a certain point they will “pick a side”; in particular, bisexual women are in reality straight, and bisexual men are gay
if a bi+ person dates someone of another gender it means they become straight, if they date someone from the same gender it means they become gay
bi+ people are promiscuous and are not able to be in a monogamous relationship without cheating
“real” bi+ people need to be equally attracted to men and women
bisexuality is binary and bisexual-identifying people cannot be attracted to non-binary people, therefore pansexuality is a more advanced and more valid sexual orientation than bisexuality
In many countries, there has been a notable absence of dedicated spaces for bi+ groups. In Italy, during the 1990s, archival data (sourced from the Biarchivio di Mori) indicate the emergence of bi+ collectives, spurred by the perception that existing LG spaces were insufficiently inclusive. Despite the transition of LG spaces to “LGBT” designation in the 2000s and 2010s, “de facto” dynamics of invibilization of bi+ identities and biphobia persisted within them. However, recent years have seen a concerted effort to cultivate bi+ communities. Local bi+ organizations and informal groups have gradually arisen, offering platforms for individuals to express themselves and access support.
As showed in the article by Taylor (2017), feeling part of a community and having a sense of belonging within social groups is intertwined with mental health and wellbeing, where “a number of studies have reported that experiences of biphobia and bi-negativity as well as negative stereotyping and social attitudes towards bisexual people are associated with higher rates of depression and lowered levels of self-esteem”. In a following study by McLaren (2020) it was found that “bisexual women reported higher levels of depressive symptoms (…) and lower levels of a sense of belonging to the LGBTIQ + community, than lesbian women. A sense of belonging to the LGBTIQ + community was directly associated with lower depressive symptoms”. Similary, a study found that ”participation in a bisexual-specific community at high levels reduced the impact of internalized binegativity on depression”.
The myth of straight-passing privilege
A common misconception is that bi+ people possess “straight passing privilege,” meaning they can benefit from appearing straight. However, this assumption overlooks the unique challenges bi+ individuals face. Research indicates that the mental health of bi+ people is comparable to or worse than that of gay individuals, partly due to microaggressions and discrimination encountered in both heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ spaces. For example, a systematic review conducted in 2018 analyzed 52 studies, concluding that “there is a consistent pattern of lowest rates of depression and anxiety among heterosexual people, while bisexual people exhibit higher or equivalent rates in comparison to lesbian/gay people”. The phrase “too gay for the straight people and too straight for the gay people” encapsulates the bi+ experience of not fully belonging to either community, not finding a support system that can be protective of people’s mental health.
The notion of “straight passing privilege” fails to recognize the internal stressors faced by bi+ individuals in heterosexual relationships. For example, a bi+ person in a straight-passing relationship still experiences emotional distress from homophobic remarks, despite not being visibly LGBTQIA+. An interesting example of how the myth of straight passing privilege can have a negative impact on the life bi+ people is shown by the study by Amann (2023), which analysed the additional barriers that bi+ individual can encounter in the procedure of applying for asylum, also due to misperceptions of bisexuality.
Conclusion
While the bi+ community continues to face challenges, ongoing activism and increased awareness are fostering a more inclusive and supportive environment. As society evolves, there is hope for greater recognition and validation of bi+ identities, leading to a future where all sexual orientations are respected and understood.
RESOURCES
https://www.bisexualresearch.com/resources
Bi: notes for a bisexual revolution”, by Shiri Eisner
I Nostri Articoli – Orgoglio Bisessuale
MONOSEXUAL PRIVILEGE CHECKLIST
(note: a monosexual person is attracted by one gender, e.g. they are gay or straight)
Extracted by the book “Bi: notes for a bisexual revolution”, by Shiri Eisner
1. Society assures me that my sexual identity is real and that people like me exist.
2. When I disclose my sexual identity to others, they believe it without requiring me to prove it (usually by disclosing my sexual and romantic history).
3. I can feel sure that, upon disclosing my sexual identity, people accept that it’s my real/actual sexual identity (rather than assuming that I am lying or simply wrong).
4. I am never considered closeted when disclosing my sexual identity.
5. I am considered to have more authority in defining and judging bisexuality than people who identify as bisexual.
6. Perception/acceptance of my sexual identity is generally independent of my choices of relationships, partners, and lifestyles.
7. It is unlikely that disclosing my sexual identity in a non-sexual context will be taken as a sign of sexual availability or consent.
8. I can be confident that people will not rename my sexual identity or use different words to describe my identity than I do.
9. When seen with a partner I’m dating, I can be certain I will be recognized as a member of my sexual-identity group by members of my community.
10. I do not have to choose between either invisibility (“passing”) or being consistently “othered” and/or tokenized in my community based on my sexual identity.
11. I am never blamed for upholding heteropatriarchy or cisgender privilege because of the word that I use to identify my sexuality.
12. I feel welcomed at appropriate services or events that are segregated by sexual identity (for example, straight singles nights, gay community centers, or lesbian-only events).
13. I can feel sure that if I choose to enter a monogamous relationship, my friends, community, or my partner will continue to accept my sexual identity, without expecting or pressuring me to change it.
14. I do not need to worry about potential partners shifting instantly from amorous relations to disdain, humiliating treatment, or verbal or sexual violence because of my sexual identity.
15. I can choose to be in a polyamorous relationship without being accused of reinforcing stereotypes against my sexual-identity group.
16. I can fairly easily find representations of people of my sexual-identity group and my lifestyle in the media and the arts. I encounter such representations without needing to look hard.
17. If I encounter a fictional, historical, or famous figure of my sexual identity, I can be reasonably sure that s/he will be named as such in the text or by the media, reviewers, and audience.
18. I often encounter the word I use to identify myself in the media and the arts. When I hear or read it, I am far less likely to find it in the context of the denial of its existence.
19. I can find, fairly easily, reading material, institutions, media representations, etc. which give attention specifically to people of my sexual identity.
20. I can feel certain that normal everyday language will include my sexual identity (“straight and gay alike,” “gay and lesbian,” etc.).
21. If I am cisgender, I am far less likely to suffer from intimate and sexual violence.
22. If I am cisgender, I am less likely to suffer from depression or to contemplate suicide.
23. If I am cisgender, I am less likely to suffer from poverty.
24. I am more likely to feel comfortable being open about my sexual identity at work.
25. I have access to information about the prevalence of STIs in my community as well as prevention methods that are suitable for me. (For example, searching online yields many accurate and accessible results).
26. Information about the prevalence of STIs in my community as well as prevention methods suitable for me are unlikely to be subsumed under those of any other sexual-identity groups.
27. If I live in a city, I am more likely to find medical care that will suit my own particular needs.
28. If I am cisgender, I am less likely to risk my health by avoiding medical treatment.
29. I have the privilege of not being aware of my privileges
